New PDF release: A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Conversation

By Daniel Menaker

An exceptional speak is an research of and advisor to that the majority completely human of all activities-- dialog.

Drawing on over 40 years of expertise in American letters, Menaker pinpoints the criteria that force and liven up each sturdy dialog: the vagaries (and joys) of subtext; the deeper constitution and that means of conversational move; the subliminal indications that advisor our disclosures and confessions; and the numerous different hurdles we needs to transparent alongside the way in which. relocating past self-help musings and "how to" recommendation, he has created a trendy, humorous, and outstanding booklet: a party of "the so much excusively human of all activities."

In a time while dialog is still deeply important-- for construction relationships, for stress-free, even for realizing who we are-- and in addition more and more imperiled (with Blackberries and texting more and more in vogue), a great speak is a fresh occasion of the sophisticated adventures of an exceptional dialog.

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Additional info for A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Conversation

Sample text

Can you imagine? . wrhy not play along a bit? . Then stick it to him at the end and turn him down flat. . " When the Self 1's are asked what they learned from the exercise, they are very clear about several things: (1) They are surprised at how good they are at their roles and realize that they must have been "practicing" this for a long time. (2) It is fun doing it on purpose and to someone else instead of themselves. (3) Self 1's can be either negative or positive. " The buyers and sellers learn similar lessons.

Too Little Challenge and Too Much Safety = Boredom-When a person feels too little demand because a job or task is perceived as being too routine or unimportant, focus can be usurped by a sense of Focus of Attention 55 boredom. The cycle of boredom works very much like the cycle of anxiety described in the previous chapter. " The cycle continues. Lack of challenge is as threatening to Self 2's well-being as too much challenge. Self 2 goes to sleep and a person often feels forced to look for extreme means of "excitement" and stimulation outside of work in order to feel alive again.

The resulting state is one of confusion in which sustained focus is improbable. Distraction is a failure to resolve an inner conflict of priorities. We all live in worlds where there are many demands placed upon us. Parents, bosses, partners, managers, colleagues, teachers, gov- 56 THE INNER GAME OF WORK ernments, friends, religions, coaches, children—our "ideals" and causes all assume the right to "ask" things of us. Most of us feel the obligation to accommodate some or most of the agendas that others have for us—often to the neglect of Self 2's agenda.

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A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Conversation by Daniel Menaker


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